Not headed in the right direction. The medicine isn’t working the same. I’m also so tired that I don’t want to work out.
I miss being young. I would’ve had something to look forward to that would’ve served as big milestone. None of that, anymore.
My 30s have sucked. Hard. I’m not looking forward to 40. I don’t think change is possible anymore.
I’m back on sax – took 1.2 today and could immediately feel a difference. My appetite is gone and my cravings for sweets all but vanish. It’s like it gives me back control of myself. I desperately need it as I don’t have control over anything else in my life.
That’s why I’m going to focus on fitness. I can run, jump (sorta) and lift. That’s something I can control. I can also control what goes into my mouth. It may sound like a complaint, but it’s really a blessing. I’ve seen what your body betraying you looks like. When you want to walk, but can’t even stand up. I don’t have an excuse other than “it’s too early” or “I don’t really feel like it”. Too bad.
I accidentally kept my Audible membership going for a few months and racked up some credits Today I purchased The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage. The basic premise is that when you have an idea. you have about 5 seconds before your brain begins to talk you out of it. Therefore, you have to countdown and then “GO” – take action. That’s all I know right now. I’ll have to listen for the rest.
This ties into my excuses because I need to find a way to circumvent them. I can feel it when I start to weasel out of exercising. Instead, I just need to “GO” – running, to the gym, do an exercise tape. Don’t wait. Just grab the bare essentials and go.
30 days to go….
I was so close to being somewhat normal. Then I scales back on the medication, started eating everything in sight and now I’m a mess.
I have a big event in a month followed by a beach trip. I’m not going to look anywhere near like what I wanted. I lack discipline. So part of me thinks why bother? But I know I can’t listen to that voice otherwise I’ll keep hiding from the world.
To date, I’ve lost 27.5 lbs. Hooray! It’s been slow, but very steady.
I’m starting to run now. Let’s see where we can take it now.