- Switching it up and took it tonight instead of this morning. Yesterday’s exhaustion was tolerable only because I had the day off.
- First two days I ate little, compared to normal. It felt like a lot, but it wasn’t (two meals and fruit). I’m usually a huge snacker.
Update: 7/31 – 8:32pm
I can definitely tell a difference, when I take it at night. The snacking urge was present all day because I didn’t feel full. Luckily, I only ate a lot of sugar free Popsicles (15 cals each) so I didn’t do much damage. I’ll start taking it again in the morning tomorrow.
- Work – no words.
- Realized I sent my half-naked before photos to a complete stranger. I created a new email address for photos, but left out a word and so it wasn’t actually my new account. Unfortunately I also sent it from my real email address with my first and last name.
- I’m a little nauseous, but I still want to eat. So I’m fighting that.
Today is just a really shitty, no good horrible day.
#1. I hate my job.
This is number 1. I absolutely hate it. I’ve hated it from the first day I started. They presented themselves as something they were not. I could have advanced my career, but I went here thinking they’re something they weren’t. I hate a lot of the people I work with. They’re liars and cheats. They’re the worst of local government. Fucking assholes.
I’ve gained 30 lbs since I started. Two years. I never leave my house. I stay home all of the time because I’m ashamed of how I look.
I have to lose weight so I can confidently go on job interviews and, if hired, not have my salary penalized for being overweight.
I want to lose at least 50 lbs. That would get me down to 150. That seems so far away. I’d still be 25-30 away from goal, but I could at least feel more confident. I have to keep my goal front and center so I don’t forget.
Why can’t I just get this drug?
After stalking my pharmaceutical company (preauthorization clearance) and CVS for two days to no avail, I returned to my nurse’s office this morning to see whether their rep had provided additional samples, which she did. I had to put off today’s dose because it would’ve thrown off my routine.
Only now, I sit here at 10:45p scared out of my wits – do I try it now or in the morning? All of the horror stories about the nausea have me terrified. Plus my “friend” is coming tomorrow. I’m seriously thinking about waiting until it passes. Being a woman is troublesome.
My doctor’s office will give me my sample pack and we’ll see what happens.